ReWrite of Musings
by Miste
Summary: I am re-writing a story I wrote called 'Musings' because I found the first to be rubbish. Would you mind reviewing? Anyone? Please?
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: NOT MINE. Thank you.  
  
Authors note: Hey, I am updating this for the first time in...Wow. Havent touched this since October the twentieth. I don't even have anything new to add! However, I dislike the last chapter I wrote and such and such so I am going to re-do it. Starting with this:  
  
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Harry Potter of number four, Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surry sat upon the garden bench and stared at the hedge. This was where Dobby had apeared to him in his first summer back from Hogwarts. He brightend for a moment then felt sick.  
  
The image in front of his eyes of an elf with large green eyes and a nose like a pencil was replaced by quite another elf, one with watery greyish eyes and a nose like a pig. Harry thought furiously that he was a pig before banishing the thought. Kreacher was much, much worse than a pig. Kreacher betrayed S-  
  
"Harry! Come inside for dinner right now!" His aunts voice pierced his thoughts and he sighed, glad of the distraction from his usual thoughts of veils and murmurings.  
  
Dinner that night was quiet, but that wasent a surprise to any of them. Harry didnt want to talk because of his evening at the department of mysteries and the revilations that followed. Dudley didnt want to talk because he was deciding which member of his gang he was going to tell his parents he would visit tommorow. Nither Vernon nor Petunia had anything to fill up the silence so eventually Petunia turned on the television.  
  
As a cop show blared from the various speakers Harry excused himself from the table. His only answer was a grunt from his hated uncle so he went off to 'his' room. Dudley still put old things in it. Just that morning he had added his Playstation2 when he realised he still had it and it wasent the newest on the market. Harry fell backwards onto his bed.  
  
He shut his eyes against the onslaught of memories of Sirius but it did little good. Sirius sulking, Sirius yelling at his vile mothers portrait, Sirius laughing at Mundungus, Sirius....  
  
He woke with a start. The alarm clock on his bedside table had been knocked onto the floor. Thinking ruefully that he wasent the most restful of sleepers these days he reached for it. It had fallen into the loose floorboard compartment because Harry had forgotten to close it.  
  
As he scrabbled around in the darkness (it surely must be at least eleven oclock!) his hand touched leather... he brought the small book up to his face and realised it was the book of pictures Hagrid had compiled for him in his first year.  
  
He flipped through it and his heart stopped. He was looking at Sirius. Sirius twenty years ago. Fit. Healthy. Sirius was laughing from the picture that was also in Kinglsley Shacklebolts office. Thinking of that cubicle Harry shivered. He didnt think he could go back there. All those pictures of his godfather. He threw the book suddenly across the room out of sheer frusteration.  
  
Damnit! He would have loved to say goodbye. Thats all he wanted. To tell Sirius how much he meant to him. How very much. Harry stopped to think about this. How much did Sirius mean to him?  
  
'He was like your father' said that little voice in the back of his head. 'Who else do you have as family?' That was a better question. He didnt want any less than good thoughts about the man who risked everything for him. At least, not yet. Who else was his family? 'Noone. Nobody exept Sirius.' Was this true?  
  
Mrs. Weaslys voice floated through his head 'He is as good as my son!' as he thought about it, Mrs. Weasly was as close to a mother as he had ever come. He wondered whether his beloved godfather would approve? A voice very like Hermiones quiverd with indignation as it said 'Harry! Sirius just wanted you to be happy! And if he would mind you find her like a mum he ought to-'  
  
Harry tuned the voice out. It was time to think about all this for a while...  
  
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Well? Please review. I am starved for feedback.  
  
Flames will be given to Nora. Nora is a fire person, flames are her thing. I'm a water person, flames make me refuse to write any kind of thing at all for several days until I sooth my own hurt feelings. So, go ahead and flame me! *grumbles* 


	2. Chapter Two

Three days later Harry wasent sure if he had made the right desision about, well, about anything. Did Mrs. Weasly still value him as a son? If so why hadent she written? For that matter, why had no one at all written? He tried to think why, got bored and instead he tried to think of out of all the people he knew who he would like to see most at the minute.  
  
Well. That was easy. Sirius ,of course. He tried to think of all the people who were alive. Hermione? No. She would try to comfort him when she coulden't understand. Not really. Ron? Nah, same reason.  
  
Mrs. Weasly? Well... no. He would keep going over the fight between her and Sirius in his head and he knew that that would make him resentful tward her. Who then? Someone in as much pain as him, or more, he wasent picky. Then the answer hit him like a ton of the Weasly's fireworks.  
  
Remus Lupin. Good God Harry was being selfish. He knew that no matter how bad he felt, Lupin had it as bad. He was probably going through hell right now.  
  
First he has four fabulous friends. Then in an instant he learns that three of them are dead because of the fourth. Then, after thirteen years. Thirteen years he learnd that Peter was alive and had betrayed them all and that Sirius was completly innocent. Then they had a mere two years together in a horrible old house that caused Sirius to go a little insane.  
  
However, Sirius was just Lupin's best friend. To Harry, Sirius was the father he had never had. "It's not fair!" he yelled, causing an answering shout of annoyance to reflect back at him from the T.V. room.  
  
Now that he thought about it, he wondered which one of them -Sirius and Remus- had had it worse. Sirius was in Azkaban it's true but he at least knew.  
  
He knew that Peter was guilty and that he was innocent. Remus however had no way of knowing. He spent those years doing who-knows-what and thinking that a man he had known since school betrayed them all. The more Harry mused, the more his resolve to send Remus a letter strengthened. The only question was what would he say?  
  
Dear Remus Lupin,  
  
I have been thinking a lot lately. I have probably been thinking more in the past few days then in all last year. Sirius mentioned you a lot. Well, at least more than he mentions anyone else. You were living with him in that awful house and I think you know him best.  
  
Well, better than anyone alive right now. I know this is probably really rude and I know it would be painful, but I was wondering if you would talk to me about him for a bit? Even a letter of any kind, about him or not, would be wonderful. No one else writes to me right now.  
  
Does anyone write you? I'm sorry, I am getting awfully personal arent I? Still being rude probably. Hermione would know what to say. She always knows what to say and is not afraid to say it and Ron always knows what not to say. They balence eachother out.  
  
Well, Ron doesnt know about girls but what guy does? I don't know what else to say to you exept that you were always my favorite defence against the dark arts teacher and over the past year I have really gotten to like you outside of Hogwarts. Please write back?  
  
Harry  
  
Well. That would have to do. He was tired, and he needed to start on that potions assinment. He decicded to wait a bit on the assinment, after all, he had just had a death!  
  
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Grrrr... Harry is an asshole.  
  
The next update will take a bit longer, I dislike the third chapter so I am going to start from scratch on that one. Also--- I'm looking for a Beta. Anyone know of one? Thanks! 


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